ANTHROPOLOGY, screamed in jagged death-metal lettering, over the most famous lineup in science: five hominin skeletons in the classic march-of-progress pose, hunched ape-like walker to fully upright human, with broken chains scattered between them. Rendered in distressed gold ink on a dark chocolate tee, half museum diagram, half tour merch. The real story of human evolution is a branching bush rather than a straight line, but nobody ever headbanged to a bush. Made from lightweight 100% ring-spun cotton with a soft, sensory-friendly feel. Every order funds kelp restoration on the Pacific Northwest coast.